The story of the dumb brunette

The craziest story ever!

So, this brunette and her, let's say, four year old son go out to run errands. The Brunette notices that she is on "E" but thinks "oh... I have a couple gallons and can make it a couple places" that her four year old is insisting that they do immediately. And so she does. As she is running those few places, all of close proximity, she notices it is now below the "E", but thinks... "I haven't gone that far... I still have gas" and continues on to one more place before getting gas. After all the brunette loves to save money with fuel perks and food perks at Giant Eagle and she wasn't anywhere near one at the moment, but was headed to errands by a Get Go next. So, continues on happily.

However, on her way to the gas station she runs out of gas... for the first time in her, we'll say, 34 year old life. As the gas pedal slowly stopped working and the car started coasting the brunette thought... 'so this answers my question as to what happens when you run out of gas.' Okay, that thought in her head might have started AND ended with a few unsavory words... maybe... but it was just a thought (not said out loud)... and given the situation we mustn't judge her. Fortunately the brunette was probably a third of a mile (who knows, she can't judge distance) from the Get Go. Trying to be calm and efficient, she coasted as long and as far as she could to get as close to the gas station as possible and out of traffic. Thinking quick as her four year old son asked "mommy, why are we stopping on the side of road, I thought we were going to Kohls" (Okay, so the gas station not next, but fortunately the brunette ran out of gas closer to it than Kohls), she said excitedly "we're going on an ADVENTURE!" "An adventure?" he says. Yes, the brunette says, as she turns on her hazards, locks the car and heads in the direction of the gas station with her son in the 140 degree heat (okay it was more like 85 which is still really hot). Trying to make this as fun as possible, the brunette makes up songs about their adventure as they walk endlessly. No one stops to help. The son asks her to stop singing.

The brunette and son arrive at the Get Go and ask the attendants for help. They stare at her emotionless without empathy and point at the gas cans for sale on the shelf. They continue to offer little to no help, like cutting off the spout so that it may be attached, or anything. Brunette is unhappy, but conceals it for her four year old. At this point the four year old is on board with the adventure and says "let's go get some gas mom!" So they do. She feels completely idiotic standing at a busy gas station filling up a can without a car... knowing everyone knows she ran out of gas. Sigh...

They then walk back to the car and many people offer to help drive them there this time (apparently the gas can tipped them off that it wasn't a nice Saturday mother/son walk along a road), but she declines since it isn't too far and she doesn't want this to turn into a CSI show (one can never know after all). The brunette does take this opportunity, though, to point out to her son how nice these people who keep stopping are and how we should always offer to help people who are in need (never mind she JUST had the 'don't talk to strangers and run from them always' conversation with him last week - and therefore he is now telling her "see mom, strangers are nice" - sigh - timing is everything).

They make it to the car, both of them drenched with sweat, the son gets into his seat and the brunette attempts to fill the tank. Gas spills all over the car, the street and her... none goes into the tank. She tries again with the same result. As she stands there and waits for another nice person to come by, after all four people had stopped on the way back, the cars just speed by. Starting to panic and pace, she thinks "what should I do?" when just then a pick-up truck with a really nice older man pulls over from the other side of the street and says "do you need help?" "YES! I am apparently challenged," she says, "do you know how to fill a car with a gas can?" And he does and he did and she thanked him over and over and over as she bathed herself in baby wipes to get rid of all the gas on her (yes, she shared the wipes with him too).

The brunette then got in the car and asked her son if that was the best adventure ever?! To which he replied "no, silly mommy, it was not." The brunette then promptly drives to the Get Go and fills up.

The brunette now knows just how far below the "E" line she can go, lesson learned. And to those wonderful people who stopped to ask if she needed help, she says thank you. To the fabulously kind man who filled her tank (getting drenched with gas as well), she says thank you again and again. To her son who got on-board with the adventure, never once complained about the walk in the heat and also didn't tell daddy on her, she says thank you, you will be rewarded. To the not very friendly and most unhelpful attendants at the Get Go, she simply says "karma..."

That concludes the story of the dumb brunette named, uh we'll say, Mendy and her son, um we'll say, Methan. Shhhh... Mendy's husband doesn't know yet.

(yes, Mendy's husband reads this blog... like the story goes... dumb brunette.)