Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Can't we just co-exist?

Dear Critter:

Though we have not formally met, I would like to address some items with you. First, as you must know by the multiple bird feeders and the bird bath, albeit small, I am a friend to animals. I am actually a long time lover of all animals (but the snakes, they creep me out). In addition, I like to read animal books to my kids and take them to the zoo, both to teach them about animals, their habitats and how important it is that we respect them and help them through conservations and education. Grandma Dee even makes sure we have a few different age appropriate animal magazine subscriptions for the same reasons. I was raised in a house where our pets were our siblings... as a matter of fact, I still have a hairy little sister. At any rate, I think I have established my love and respect for whomever you may be.

That said, I am taking issue with some of your actions. For example, I do not appreciate you eating our strawberries. Well, let me qualify, if you are going to eat a nice big ripe strawberry, please eat the entire thing. I have found over a dozen half eaten perfectly good strawberries laying around in my pots and flower beds the last couple weeks (see exhibit A1 - yea, that's right, I have documentation). Don't you know, there are starving critters in third world counties... don't be wasteful.

Second, please stop digging in my pots to bury whatever treasure you have (see exhibit A2). It's killing my peppers and strawberries... and well... my good nature is waning. I might have said a word or three that I was not proud of afterwards. And if you are going to dig... at least fertilize them with some wonderful organic matter, in a respectful manner please (yes, I am saying don't spread/spew your... um... you know... in a malicious way). Remember, if we benefit, you benefit.

Third, I don't know what it is you keep burying throughout our flower beds, but I am sure you have noticed that it grows every time you bury it (see exhibit B). I assume you discover this and bury again, not realizing the process, that this stash method is not exactly working. Or are they the sunflower seeds that you seem to love... and you decided to grow hundreds of sunflowers around the perimeter of our house that you will harvest for your winter stash. ??? Whatever it is... there are enough... they are everywhere... starting out as your little holes... but soon coming to life. Stop burying them already!

If it would work better for you, you can just leave me a wish list and let me know what it is you want to eat, drink, save for later and all that good stuff. I would be happy to accommodate you. Just please... STOP digging, burying and half eating everything!

Thank you for your cooperation.

Exhibit A1

Exhibit A2

Exhibit B

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