Okay, so I've debated about sharing this story in the past because... well...where exactly is the line? For a mom it's kind of blurry as you see, smell, hear, wear and touch things you never thought you would, both willingly and non-willingly. However, I have randomly shared this story with a few people and it is felt that others may enjoy it and since I already "went there" with the Kohl's story a couple days ago, I figured what the heck! So here it goes.
Steve and I can't quite remember when (which is another reason I should just blog everything as it happens... regardless) this started, but it was probably four or five months ago. Also, remember, Ethan has an incredibly fabulous imagination. (Due to the content, you'll need to read between the lines a little.)
Ethan is a "regular" boy in "that" respect. Only sometimes, like Saturday at Kohl's, he has "issues." The poopy song, by the way, actually started with potty training but stayed because of his "issues." At any rate, at times his "business" comes out in multiples of different sizes. Ethan has actually identified these...yes, I am serious. The first time I remember it, he told me that he was waiting on the dad poop to come out as his little face was turning red (I think I almost cried from holding in the laughter and almost exploded waiting to tell Steve). Another time he was loudly and dramatically "trying/pushing" (as I sang the poopy song) and saying the grandpa was still there and just not wanting to come out. Yet another time, it was an uncle. Each time it is all we can do not to lay on the ground laughing as you never know who's being stubborn and just how much family lives there. And yes, as "they" come out he says "there's the sister, there's the mom, there's the cousin..." - you get the picture. Sometimes we ask him, if all the family out (just for our own laughs really) and sometimes we try to identify them ourselves - "was that the aunt?" - usually to be corrected. (as I type this I realize just how strange that sounds - ha!)
As if that isn't funny enough, one day I was reading Ethan a story in his bed before a nap (at the beginning of this "family's" incarnation), after he had just used the bathroom. As I was reading to him, both of us laying in his bed side by side, he held up his finger and said "mom, here's the baby." Noticing something brown on his finger out of the corner of my eye and thinking it was probably a piece of fuzz or lint from the many stuffed animals or blankets, I reached out my hand while continuing to read. He gently put the "baby" on my finger. At this point it was like this slow motion cognitive realization of what I was holding... and well, let's just say, I didn't handle it as well as the no gas situation this weekend. I jumped off the bed, told Ethan not to move or touch anything, ran to the bathroom, washed my hands, grabbed a couple wash clothes (with and without soap), scrubbed Ethan off, then scrubbed him some more, surveyed the bed and animals, decided to wash them all, scrubbed us both some more, etc., etc. Mind you, over the years, I have had bigger "babies" on me thanks to three little ones, but for some reason, maybe the way it happened, it just really caught be off guard (and disgusted me more than it ever has). We then had a long discussion about how this "family" needs to only live in one of two places... I am sure you can guess those places.
Since then, we still hear of close family and distant cousins often (even at Kohl's - hmmmm come to think of it, that might have been the reason, not my singing and Ethan's noises, that the full bathroom cleared out so quickly...), but they have all gone "swimming" or stayed "at home"... and have not come out to visit us up close and personal. Thankfully.
Sorry if that was offensive to you, but come on, you have to admit that it's also both imaginative and funny too. Right?
The 30 Day Mom Challenge
5 years ago