Friday the twins had eye exams at one of our children's hospital annex locations. Oliver has been blinking hard a lot and my pediatrician wanted him to be seen by a specialist. Collin came along because as he said: "if one is going, the other one might as well go for a check up too." Clearly my doctor does not have twins. Let me explain:
2 children + 2 years old + siblings + 45 minutes + hot exam room = massive meltdowns
Really though, you knew the answer to that equation didn't you?
They did really well, considering we were shuffled around a bit. Five minutes after we arrived we went into a room with a nurse who did, what turned out to be, preliminary tests. She then dilated their eyes (they loved that...not) and sent us to the waiting room for "about 30 minutes." I sat there filling out the mass of forms in duplicate, as the boys played happily. After only maybe 15 minutes, they came to get us. Woo hoo, it's my lucky day!
The gentleman, who I thought was our doctor, took us to an exam room where he did a few more tests on the twins and then told me the doctor would be in shortly. Am I the only person that hates the words "the doctor will be in shortly," knowing full well that translates to "sometime before the end of the day." We were in the exam room, albeit a larger than normal exam room, for 45 minutes (that had to be like 8 hours in toddler time). It started out okay. After I had the twins, I loosened up quite a bit about many things (it was called survival actually). Letting them play with toys and books at the doctor's office and roll around on the floor, even knowing that they have a brown tinge for a reason, is one said loosened standard. At first it went well, they played with the items individually and also shared. It was so sweet. I was down on the floor with them playing and reading too. One big happy happy.
Oliver kept calling the chair a robot and when you looked at how it was broken up, it really did look like one.
Really, why on earth would they lock two toddlers in a room together for 45 minutes (after already being there for 30 minutes prior)? I would have rather waited in the lobby with the mounds of dirty toys and the brain dumbing cartoon network. By the time the doctor came to our room, did I mention it was 45 minutes (?!), they were in full meltdown and I was a puddle of sweat.
Fortunately, the doctor was able to check their eyes without being assaulted by one of the boys. Okay, Collin was iffy on that last point. It wasn't Collin's fault though, the doctor turned on a video of some sort to get them to look straight ahead at a screen, then he turned it off... on, off, on, off, on, off, on, off... Collin was giving him the "stop messing with me dude, can't you see I'm on the edge here? Leave the video on and no one with get hurt" look. If he wasn't sitting on my lap, I would have cleared out. Luckily he made it through. And, other than a case of dry eyes for Oliver, all was good.
I was even thinking: "whew, I see the light at the end of the tunnel." That was, before the doctor gave each boy a token for the prize machine. What? Oh yes, prize machine. Which then they were all about of course. The prize machine that had teeny tiny very non-age appropriate trinkets. They each picked a little stretchy lizard thing, which they insisted on getting out and carrying around. Guess how many times they lost one of them on the way out... down the hall, in the elevator, out the building lobby and to the parking lot? Yea, let's not go there. We ended up permanently loosing Collin's somewhere in the parking lot... I even ran back through our path to the car and then did two drive around missions looking for it... as he screamed. Yes, I had a tinge of mommy guilt for not being able to find it. On that note, to doctors everywhere, two year old children do not expect a prize for a visit. They do not know of such things yet. So, please do not give them such things. Or, if you really feel compelled, have something larger and age appropriate for them. Please. Thank you.
That is what happens behind closed doors in exam rooms with toddlers who have expired. Seriously, they need to rethink the no food and drink rule for waits that long.