I didn't really have many thoughts on how the twins would interact when I was pregnant (honestly I was still in shock). I remember another mom pregnant with twins due a few months before me saying how excited she was that they would always be best friends and have their own language and special bond. She was so excited about this. I also remember after the twins were born that so many people would comment about it - the "twin connection." They would ask me if they slept curled up together, if they were only happy when they were together touching, if one cried, did the other cry because of their connection, and so on. To be honest, I never saw what many called this close bond. They didn't need to touch while sleeping and they didn't necessarily need to find each other in the middle of the night, moving closer. They didn't have to be together during the day.
Honestly, we really never saw any of the stereotypical perceptions of twins, in our twins. As a matter of fact, when they got older I remember Steve joking about how they play separately all day, then at night in their room they talk and bond in orneriness as if they are saying "hey man, how are you? I saw you in the family room today, how was your day?" They have never spoke for each other, or translated for each other. They don't have their own language.
Part of that might be because they are fraternal. Part because they have an older brother so close in age... and the fact that Oliver is obsessed with being Ethan's mini me. In fact, Oliver refuses to embrace the fact that he is not the age of Ethan and his friends and that he really can't/shouldn't do everything they do. Collin, on the other hand, is mostly the loner, doing things by himself (there is speculation from therapists that he does this due to his speech issue). Regardless, I wonder about it because they have never known life without one another right there beside them.
Lately, though, we have seen some little pockets of a special kind of bond. There's been more special hugs, some sharing and caring (not much, but some...), much more referring to each other as "brother" in a proud way, and some sweet little moments like this one...
I love to see these moments and it makes me think and reflect on the "twin connection" and all those questions people continue to ask me. I am glad, though, that their bond isn't so tight that Ethan is excluded. In fact, they seem to really enjoy each other like the three amigos... and I hope they always have that.
The 30 Day Mom Challenge
5 years ago